I'm certain
if not absolutely sure that you might have a few embarrassing stories up your
sleeve; embarrassing not because they're bad but maybe, just maybe, because
they're too humorous to get over.
There
are several things that my closest friends and family know about me. Similarly
there are those that they don't. There are certain things that I have kept
to myself because I thought of as a bit too embarrassing to share. Today, I
figured that I'd lighten up the blog with a funny story or two from my
past that some of my closest friends and family might not even know about.
Let
me take you back a few years into the past; November 2012 to be precise. It was
a hot afternoon and the Nairobi weather was giving all it had got. The
scorching hot sun showed no mercy. Its rays covered every square kilometre of this pristine metropolis. Typical
Nairobi weather, you could say. The sky was crystal clear. What a wonderful day
it was. I can only imagine the great things that one could have planned for
such a day.
Before
we go on, I only see it best to tell you that this story is not based around a
cool swimming pool and an ice-cold beverage. No! If that is what you were
hoping for, I'm sorry to burst your bubble. This story, as a matter of fact,
takes place in the heart of Nairobi in a primary school -- Nairobi South. This
is the place where I would spend six years endeavouring my primary education.
This
story begins at about an hour past mid-day. Its lunch hour in school and my
pals and I are playing soccer under the hot noon sun. Beads of perspiration
make their way down my visage. I wipe my forehead with my little dirt-covered
hand. I run enthusiastically and full of energy. I am about to take my chances
and shoot. I muster up all my energy and kick without hesitation.
"BAAAAOOO----"
We all chant in jubilation but are cut short when the ball misses the post by a
few inches. "AAAAH! Mauzo!"
I was
disappointed but still wasn't ready to give up. We play without taking any
notice of time.
At
around 2:15p.m. we realise the time and rush to class.
"Tumechelewa!" We exclaim to each other. This
meaning that we were late for class.
When
we finally get there we find our class teacher waiting at the front of the
class, her face disfigured and filled with anger.
"Where
were you boys?" She roars, "Do you know what time it is? The girls
all got here on time."
All
the girls giggle and laugh audibly; a clear sign of mockery. If you grew up
learning in Kenya, you probably know what happens next in this story.
"Somebody
get my cane." The mere mention of these words made me tremble in my little
size 1 Bata shoes. I had to get out of this somehow. I just had
to!
Although
tiny, I was in fact a creative genius. In an instant, I spotted opportunity.
Right by my side was an opening to the outside; an empty window pane. Most
people who know me think of me as a very serious person. If we're being honest,
I'm serious about my life! I didn't want to die!. I was just an eight-year-old
kid. Sure, it would have been over in a second, but I didn't want to have
to go through that. Besides, if I could get out unharmed, it would have been so
much better.
I
thought for a minute and then knew I was ready. We began to form a line towards
the front of the class. I stood at the back. When I finally got my chance I
jumped right in through the window. I was stuck for a few seconds and didn't
know whether I was going to make it out. Luckily, I did. I was unseen. It's
like I was never even there. I rushed to the front door and observed
everything. I could hear everything too.
"You
boys are late," the teacher said, "You are lucky this is your
first time so I will let you go."
When
she said this I was relieved but I now felt like my ninja-like escape was a
waste of time. Either way, I had to find a way back in as everyone was taking
their seats. When everyone's attention was still at the front, I ran right back
in and sat down. I don't know but I might have done a back-flip or two. I've
got to say, that was a close one.
Now
that everyone knows, I'd like to apologise to my teachers who might see this and
also thank them for some of the most amazing years in Primary School. I am who
I am today because of all of you. I couldn't have asked for better people to
mentor and teach me.
For
those of you guys who think I take life a bit too seriously, this blog post was
made exactly for you just to show you that I can do 'crazy' things.
P.S. Most of the dialogue in this post was
originally in Swahili. Some of it may have been left unaltered and some of it
may have been translated. All in all, it was curated for a better
understanding.
This
was really fun, telling a story about myself and making it a bit more personal.
I hope to do this once in a while.
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