If there is one question that I probably never had (and still don't have) the answer to, it would be 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' To this question I've given numerous answers over the years: 'pilot', 'engineer', 'entrepreneur', 'journalist'; you name it! Most of these replies were instinctive, automatic answers that I trained myself to give adults or my pals. Otherwise, the real answer would probably be, 'Well . . . I DON'T KNOW.'

I feel as though I might not be the only one who has found myself in this situation. To be honest, this is most likely a question that everyone has come across at some point in their life. Whether you had a direct (and honest) answer or maybe had to scratch your head to figure it out or gave a shrug of the shoulders and didn't give a second thought about it, the fact remains: most of us have come across this question.

Let me begin by saying that it's okay if you don't have an answer to the question. In fact, most people don't. But this made me wonder, 'Are we asking ourselves the right question? Or are we forcing an unnecessary and outdated paradigm* upon ourselves?'

Most sensible questions would have an answer; it only makes sense. If we were to approach this question with a 21st Century mindset we'd encounter one if not many issues. The first being that this question is limiting. The question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' demands an answer that must be defined in one single idea. It forces a child into believing that they can only truly ever be one thing in life. 

The question takes away the diversity of each human being; the quality that makes us human by telling us that in life we can never fully realise our potential as we are defined by our career choice. Psychology dictates that considering the end in mind (the end-point) allows for better clarity. In this sense, we better understand where we are headed. The issue with this is that it devotes the present moment to our expectations or hopes of the future. All facts considered, it denies us what is (the present moment). If we live today for tomorrow, we can never fully experience the joys of the present moment. Life will just pass you by.

We need to consider the fact that most of our lives will be spent working. Asking a child what they want to be when they grow up alters the way they see the world. I know people who want to be doctors because they know a doctor who makes a whole load of money. Work is supposed to be something that we do because we enjoy it not because we gain something from it. And sure, work might not always be fun (at times it won't be) but it shouldn't make you miserable

This question comes along with its own issues. Even then, it doesn't mean that it's the wrong question to ask. Some people answer this question with ease. Some even end up in the career that they had chosen when they answered the question. But in hindsight, it becomes clear that even though this might not be the wrong question to ask, it isn't necessarily the best either.

Let's try something different. If I were to ask you: 'How would you want to change the world?' what would you say? Honestly, everyone would give a different answer. This question actually makes sense. It not only makes you feel unique as an individual but also allows you to dig deep into your soul. It allows you to understand yourself in a way that you never could before as it uses your hopes and aspirations of a better world to form the part that you get to play. Even if someone gave the same answer as you, it doesn't mean that you'll end up doing the same thing. Two people could say, 'I want to make other people happy.' One could become a comedian and the other a chef. Don't tell me good food doesn't make you happy.

Stop asking yourself what you want to be when you grow up. Instead, ask yourself how you would want to change the world. There are endless possibilities. You don't have to figure it out now but you can work on it. Make every second of your life count. Don't live a life whereby you believe at some point in your existence on this earth you'll start being happy. Be happy by doing the things you love.

Go ahead and ask your friend this question. You never know. It might just change their life.

*paradigm - a widely accepted example, belief or concept.

 

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